There are some things that just don’t make sense: cowlicks, decaffeinated coffee, platypuses. The one that races faster in my head than a cocaine crazed Lance Armstrong, is the notion of cuteness. I’m sure you all know what I mean. It's hard to explain, but everyone knows when they have seen something cute.
But why do we react this way? What in our brains triggers the string of emotions that leads to the eventual 'BAWWWWWW' that we are all accustomed to?
Personally, I think of cute animals the same way I think of gold diggers. They pretend to care about you but are really just looking out for themselves. That is because I believe cuteness is too easily abused. With it, animals can get away with anything. For example:
 |
| Jelly is lonely |
What you are probably thinking is ‘oh how cute, what a funny puppy’, when you should be thinking 'why the hell is that damn dog eating my peanut butter?! Not only was the dog able to get into this jar of delicious preserves, but his owners were so powerless to the dogs cuteness that they decided to take a picture rather than attempt to salvage any of the spread.
Cuteness is a weapon, and in the wrong hands it can cause people to be subjected to the Goo Goo's and Ga' Ga's of an adorable captor!
But in the right hands, this weapon can be harnessed for good. Behold!
Shortly after this photo was taken, the dog wakes up and murders the cat for treating him like a throw pillow.
The picture is adorable, right? Yes, i know. Whatever the unseen force that lies within this photograph evokes the feeling of cuteness. Just by showing it to you, you have been rendered powerless, endeared by the unity and harmony in this picture. It's just that easy.
Now you know the secret. It is a method used by many to charm others. And its effectiveness is downright staggering. Don't use a corny pickup line, because all you need is a puppy.
 |
| See? |
So the next time you see a woman you want to talk to her, or you get pulled over by the highway patrol, just show them something cute. You'll get off (pun intended) and their words of scorn will be reduced to baby
talk. And that, my friends, is the talk of love-- and idiocy. You win.
Cheers.
Okay, cuteness can render an over-the-top emotional response in sometimes inappropriate situations, totally understandable. But I know that for girls, we are programmed to find cuteness in things! Maybe it's our eye for beauty? Also, men are subject to the powers of cuteness too! Take for instance babies - what man can look at a smiling baby and not smile back? Because (most) babies are cute! Plain and simple. What more, when the girl that is with that guy sees that the guy thinks that the baby is cute, then he becomes even cuter! A woman is powerless to a man with a baby.
ReplyDelete