Sep 7, 2012

Advertising: Love the Hype!

What makes a turd into a rainbow?

Simple, how you describe it. The beauty of advertising is its ability to take the most unappealing item and make you desire it. It's the art of reinvention, and is another way that persuasion can cause the masses
to love something horrible.

Remember the pet rock? If not, it was a toy that was very popular in the 80's. And by toy, I mean a rock. That's right. Some genius decided that what kids needed for entertainment could be found in their backyard and all you needed to do was slap a coat of paint on them and BAM! Millionaire. This man successfully made the mundane cool and successfully showed the magic of advertising.

This example was just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure you have all seen other examples of more current advertising of horrible products IE. the Snuggie. I still don't understand how this caught on. It is just a blanket, right? No secret compartments or cigar holders present... just a blanket- with sleeves. Yet despite nothing innovative, for some reason these things sell like iPods.

Advertisements have a strange ability to resonate in your head. And the weirder they are, the better. That is why I have compiled some of the most infamous ads to showcase how you don't have to be sane, coherent, or normal to market a product. This is how weird sells:

To all you movie buffs out there, yes, that is zach galafinakis sporting a giant wig "updo". And yes, he is crying and screaming and generally doing nothing to help promote the product. But how enjoyable was that? Answer:  Very. And it seemed to do pretty well as over 2 million people alone went to youtube just to watch this commercial. When people are wanting to watch an ad, rather than having it sneak up on them during their TV time, you know you are on the right track.

Now for one of the most famous ads of the past 3 years. The Old Spice commercial guy.

This video spawned chaos throughout the internet community and for good reason; this ad was funny, original, and really well done. Did it promote the product? Yes, but that wasn't why you were watching. Your eyes were glued to the screen because of the weird factor. The way the set changed, what the man was babbling about, those weird little quirks made you think 'whats going on?'. When you start asking questions: you are interested.

And that's the point. Weird sells. Cool can only get you so far in life and everyone can wear a pair of sunglasses and ride a skateboard. Being odd, unusual, quirky -even, will keep people coming back for more.

So stay odd. You'll look better that way.


Apr 28, 2011

Random Clip Of Awesomness!

While scouring the information super highway, one can come across a delicious amount of cool things to look at. Indeed, the amount of good content online is staggering. In fact, it is proven beyond the shadow of a doubt (my doubts specifically) that you can't see all the things the interbutts has to offer.

Thats why I present you with RANDOM CLIPS OF AWESOMENESS! (insert echo). Here I will present clips the of classiest things you may have missed.

In this first installment I present you with master of the motor, the king of the clutch- Pit manuever...guy!

This man puts Vin Deisel to shame.

Indeed, as a law abiding citizen, I can only assume this man was wanted for a misdeed, like theft or manslaughter. Yet, as someone who really enjoys this man skills, I assume he's being hunted like Jason Bourne: because he's just too bad ass.

Notice how he not only recovers 3 times but every time he does so, white, benevolent smoke eeks from his tires. Also, if you zoom in he is also grabbing onto his steering wheel, pinkies out.

So here's to you mystery man! Keep driving like there's not tomorrow, because after the police get you... there won't be.

Mar 8, 2011

Dancing: The Timeless Art of Self Expression.

Some may be wary to make their way to the dance floor, as dancing is an acquired skill. When you are out at a club or show, you may hear the rhythm and beat get under your skin and the expression that exudes can be thrilling. To those of you who love it, huzzah! To others, here is my plea:

It's okay to be nervous about dancing. You may be scared of spilling your glass of 1923 Dom Perignon. Or that you will  accidentally lose the penny in your loafers- ruining that financial investment.

So what do you do? Sit there, a devilish grin on your face, being a silent observer to the revelry happening around you. You might nod your head, or sway your arms a little, but ultimately there is a pungent stench of awkward around you.

To all my classy readers who have this dilemma, allow me to explain this: introversion is nonsense, poppycock, and hogwash. The only way to look stupid while dancing is to not dance. A classy gent should always say yes to a challenge. Whether it be cutting a rug on the dance floor or playing chess with a bear. You are no coward, and when you are able to strip off the silly shackles of self-consciousness, you can do some amazing things.

Look at Carlton, for example:

This is a man with a passion for the dance. Notice his nonchalance, his mojo, his feet of flames. Clearly, this shows not only his energetic style, but a need to express it. Yet, his passion is still stifled because he thinks he looks silly, and the Fresh Prince is doing no favors by looking at him with a blank stare. Way to be a douche,  Will Smith.

Once you embrace the music you will be able to express yourself. Starting from the timid foot tap, your game will evolve into a full out choreographed extravaganza. You will then be able to dance well by implementing new creative approaches and signature moves. I urge you to embrace this. Become the Albert Einstein of breaking it down and unleash an atomic bomb of rhythmic destruction across the dance hall. Your arsenal of weapons will become an awe inspiring triumph. Then you will be able to use your skills to your own ends. Like this mans eagerness to please:

As shown, 'the puke' is generally not a well received dance move. But the fact still remains that dancing can help you get what you want. Why is that?

Because dancing is confidence, and nothing is more alluring to people than a confident stride and an 'I know I'm awesome' attitude.  And if you're really confident, you can actually try to be the fool. You can move onto the scene with your head held high and your booty a-shakin. Just look at these guys and their new dance:

With over 13 million views these guys are obviously doing something right. Ironically, it is also something very, very wrong. Let us just percolate on this video. How creepy these people are, and yet how hilariously fun it might actually be to do.

So there you have it, gentleman. You can either be a slave to your own insecurities, or embrace the inner machinations of your heart. Don't be scared, good chaps. Let your freak flags fly! Raise the roof! Put your hands in the air, if you's a true player; because you will be the talk of the town, when you're breaking it down.


Feb 24, 2011

Hyperbole: How to be a Superhero

We can only be who we are. It’s a shame, really, because so many of us are just ordinary, normal people.
Who wants to be normal, anyway? To be a gentleman of renown you can either do two things: work hard and get lucky, or (my favorite) lie! Now, when I mean lie, I don’t mean spit in someone’s coffee and call it sugar. I mean stretch the truth. 

More specifically, I mean use hyperbole. Hyperbole is the art of intentional exaggeration; with it, your cup becomes a flagon, your car becomes a gallant vessel, and your workout on the treadmill becomes an epic battle against the robotic uprising!

Through hyperbole the unreal becomes real, that’s the beauty of it. For instance, I said in an earlier post that I “break necks and cash checks”. Of course, I don’t really mean that I physically dominate anyone, or go to the banks with invoices in hand. But I do get things done—but my way just sounds cooler.

One thing to note is that it's not about actually becoming the person or thing you want to emulate. It's only convincing others that you are whatever it is you say you are. For example:
If only the real Superman had hair like this.

This man is not Superman for a number of reasons, all of which are obvious. Yet, if you see this guy walking down the street, you will naturally call him 'black superman' or, if you don’t want to put race into this, 'superman with chest hair’. And that is the point. If you can successfully hammer into people that you aren't just 'some guy' but someone special--you have already won.

To adopt a persona that isn't yourself can do amazing things. It can give you the confidence to do things that you wouldn't normally do. This is because you aren't yourself, you are whoever you want to be. For example, the real life version of Peter Pan:

This is his 'just hanging out' stance.

No, he is not Peter Pan. That's just what 99% of the people who see him walking down the street will recognize him as. Now, this might look like an extreme case. You may even be thinking, 'hey this guy looks like a freak, why would I want to follow his exploits?' Well, I offer him solely as an example. You don't have to dress up like someone to change yourself, but it helps. Oh, and to retort the hellacious claim that this man is beneath you, this guy gets the ladies.

Who's crazy now?

That's right. While many may look at this man with scorn, he still has the moves to shmooze with 3 goth girls. Not really my style, but he seems to be having a good time. I’m sure that by the end of that night he took all those girls to Neverland where they flew through the air with all the pixie dust he could afford. (All puns intended)

So there you have it. When you want to be great, like a man that moves mountains with his thoughts and can run upside down, all you need to do say it. Give it a basis in reality and it too shall become real. And then, my friends, you can take on anything.